Saturday, August 3, 2019

Reign of Fire :: Reign of Fire Essays

Reign of Fire Early this morning while rummaging through my sock drawer, I found the 32nd book of Proverbs, magically placed there by God, in a historical advent. This chapter proves the bible to be true, as it delivers divine prophecy about the movie Reign of Fire. God says "yo, yo, yo. What be goin down, ma fuckin' peeps?" (he's learning Ebonics, but not very good at it). Also, your great-grandmother ended up in hell. He just thought you'd like to know. 32 Health and sustaining abundance who can find? 2 These are worth far more than gold and jewels. They are missing in this time, after the 1st (who was the last) found the Earth, and the time of man was stunted, consumed in a Reign of Fire. 4 Through trials you have taught us much Oh Lord; Though you tease with many, in the end it was only one. 6 He who is American always has the bigger penis. The Dragon can flame millions but never the hero. 8 When hunting dragons, always bring a battle axe. The only movie worse than Triple X is Nothing But Trouble. 10Now more than ever the world needs an endless supply of Flamethrowers He who is not American sometimes has the bigger penis.(a)* 12 If you can eat ashes, you can fart females.(b)** No movie is worse than Triple X.(c)*** 14Also the age old question is answered: Can we make a really sentimental and tired action movie *without* a major love angle? Indeed, it is done. Accomplishment to humanity it is, that so much can go into making so little. v11 (a)* - While appearing to be a contradiction of verse 6, it actually isn't. Verse 11 can still be true if there is no American around. Infact, Verse 11 must be true as in any situation where no American is around, then "he who is not American" will necessarily have the bigger penis. So, the next time a skeptic approaches you with this "contradiction", tell him or her to kindly eat a dick. v12 (b)** - On the surface, this seems to be meaningless nonsense which has nothing to do with reality. But obviously alot of people believe this shit, so that cannot be the case. In fact, this verse actually has logical evidence to support it. The first dragon was the only male, and originally the only one around.

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